Loss

New Years Eve 2006
I made Texas Caviar because you insisted it wasn't possible to have a New Years without black eyed peas - for good luck. It was just a small party - I think there might have been six people. Hardly a party at all, but it felt special. I can't remember what else we ate, which is unusual for me. We all tried to go see Asharah dance. All of us squished into Chris's car, but when we arrived at the restaurant, it was packed and none of us had enough cash to get in. It was maybe 20 minutes until midnight. You and Chris decided you needed cigars or cloves or something festive to celebrate with. We went to the 7-11 and at this point, our memories diverge : I remember you getting cigarettes and smoking out the front door, but Chris remembers 7-11 being closed. Either way, we were all laughing at how high school it was to be driving around frantically trying to find cigarettes in the middle of the night.

We all went back to Chris's little house in Sterling. He and I didn't have cable, so we couldn't even watch a countdown. Chris wrote a shell script to make the computer that we had hooked up to the tv countdown for us, so we all stood around the white screen and watched the tiny numbers change until midnight. Then we played DDR for a few hours.

None of this was anything special, and yet it's one of those evenings that we refer back to fondly and frequently.

November 21 2009
This was the last time I saw you in person. Chris and I were back for a visit and got a small group together to go out to dinner. I was so excited you were able to join us. We went to Texas de Brazil in Fairfax. For some reason, I only took one picture that night. I'm kicking myself for not taking more pictures, not having more conversations, and not keeping in touch as well as I could have.

Thank you for looking out for me at work, for humoring me when I drug you away from your desk and made you eat in the cafeteria, for being my only reason to smile on some of the darker days in the office. I feel so fortunate we got to be friends and so, so sorry I didn't get to see you more often. I have so many more scattered memories, but I can't pull my head together so well right now.

I miss you.